Cursed Child- What Is and What Should Never Be

SPOILERS AHEAD.

On the 31st of July, 2016, the long wait of the Harry Potter fandom finally came to an end when Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was finally released worldwide and fans all over found themselves once again a part of the life of the Boy Who Lived after 9 years. It has been long anticipated, and expectations of this 8th story, continuing 19 years later, were high. However, I have a few select things to say about this story that seems to have broken every Wizarding Law we are familiar with.

What is most annoying about the play, it seems to be in complete disregard of the characters J. K. Rowling so carefully conceived, and instead replaced by the version of a fan who did not seem to approve the Ronald Weasley Jo created. Ron seems to have lost all the traits Potterheads loved him for, and has instead become a flirtatious, uncaring, poor excuse for comedy relief. What is more, Hermione Granger, who once looked the Minister of Magic in the eye and told him she was only "hoping to do some good in this world" is now Minister of Magic herself. I do not know about any of you, but Hermione, though stubborn and ambitious, never seemed like someone who would aspire to reach such heights in her career. And then there's Harry, and the off-hand way he seems to be treating Amos Diggory. I mean, isn't this the same guy who woke up in the middle of the night from nightmares about Cedric? Harry would have been the one to look out for Amos, especially since he blamed himself for Cedric's death. And then there's the whole "there may be a time-turner out there so let's go back about 22 years and bring my son back, but oh wait there were definitely time-turners in the 1981, but we're not going to use it to save the Potters,'" which would definitely spark another "why didn't they save the Potters" debate.    

And then there's the most irksome, unbelievably stupid (yes stupid) plot twist in history. That's right. "Voldemort has a child?!" is something I would most definitely expect to see in a fanfiction (one of the many reason why I don't read them). This particular plot twist is not only insanely far-fetched, but also in complete disregard of the characters and story we all knew, so much so that I am willing to go so far as to call it pathetic. The only thing that might (might) be considered worse than that are the rumors that seem to be circulating around the Malfoys. I mean, seriously? Seriously? I have not heard, nor imagined,of worse use of a time-turner.

Speaking of time-turners, one must consider the absurdity of the situations presented in the play. First, the writers seem to have not understood the laws of the Wizarding World before writing the play in question, especially those regarding time and time-travel. It is a dangerous enough thing to be writing theories about time in itself, but start messing with it in the Wizarding World, the results won't be appealing. Hermione's warning would have come handy here:

Of all the strange  occurrences that came to pass regarding time, the concept of "alternate realities" was the one that bugged me the most. I don't know about anyone else, but to me it felt like a desperate attempt at a fantasy/sci-fi crossover. As if that's not enough, here's what happened on Pottermore:  

So obviously, the play broke every law of time-travel ever created. But what is more, the article on time-travel was deleted (duh) and later came back. I had not read the original article, so I do not know if there are any changes in it, but if any if you do, please let me know. And if it was changed, isn't that a "changing facts to suit theories" kind of thing? 

I'll answer that one for you. It is. I could go on about all the things wrong with all the time-travel parts, but I guess you already know what I'm talking about. (And wait, Cedric becomes a death eater and kills Neville because he was humiliated and lost the Tournament? Oh and since when did Ron become such a ladies' man? Oh and also, ...)

And here's the one thing people haven't really talked about much, but which really bugs me. The lunch trolley witch on the Hogwarts Express. That part i couldn't quite comprehend, but from what I understood, the lunch lady was a kind-and-sweet-on-the-outside-and-completely-manic-if-you-try-and-get-off-the-train-oh-and-she-tampers-with-the-food kind of woman. I have nothing to say about this one.

I'm probably missing a lot of points here, so feel free to jump in. All in all, I think we have learned our lesson about demanding a "new story." NEVER DEMAND A NEW STORY. It will ruin your childhood. I also refuse to consider the Cursed Child canon, because I'm sorry, but this is not the world I grew up in. I have no idea why Jo approved it, especially considering it's a complete and utter destruction of the Wizarding World she herself created on trains and hotel rooms. Cursed Child is more of a story dancing on the edges of the realm of an over-excited fangirl's mind. For me, Cursed Child never happened.

P.S. A petition was started (not by me) to take away Cursed Child's canon status. If you wish, you can sign it here:  https://www.change.org/p/j-k-rowling-rejection-of-the-cursed-child-as-sequel-to-harry-potter

Disclaimer: No offence intended